the trip with the xiamen people really worth burning my weekends away!!hahas.the most memorable one is LIN CHEN.a nice and sociable one unlike a few.there's another one left his footprints deep in my mind is the yellow-tee guy.though i don'tknow what's his name,somehow he gives me a kind of mummy feeling.

anyway IMPORTANT NOTICE here.
My handphone's dead.so don't bother to call me or sms me.and the pictures are gone lahs!!damn it.if you guys have any extra handphone,can lend me?cause i don't bother buying a new one.

monday i didn't attend school.cause i got headache and partly,i HATE going to school.

tuesday was the temperature taking day.forgotten all about it and went to the sports hall to take it.felt that i'm lucky cause i was being measured by that fucking John Lim.he's like so unhygenic.anyway,when its my turn i was like being measured 3 times.and my temperature is like 38.

sat and rest there.after everyone taken their temperature,i'm took it again.the right was 38.1 and the left was 38.2 .damn rubbish.anyway,attended class till the end of recess and homed.almost puke during the journey home.

reached home and slept for like 3 hours plus before seeing a doctor.and my dad kept forcing me drinking the spoilt ling yang which he thinks it isn't.when to seeing a doctor which i haven't done it so like years.he gave me a jab at my butt to make my fever go down.and i was like 38.9 hot.WOW.

went home and slept till 4 plus in the morning to take my medicine,that's why i didn't reply those people on msn.my apologies.

wenesday.
bored.didn't go school but i'll be back in school tomorrow.smiles.

WORDS OF THE DAYS
i wanna thanks all those who showed their care and concern for me.especially some funny ass who told me that she misses me whn i'm just only away for 1 day.anyway,thanks =]

today's tired.the sports school is just so COOL!i'm mean what i say.

NOTE

today classes ain't good.can someone just ask me to shuddup and STOP COMPLAINING.i know those people by my side veri xin ku,so just ask me shutup okays?though i will talk like MORE.nevermind about that.

okayys,chinese is still the same,after much tok-cock-sing-song stuffs and it ended with a question by that baldie.'who find my class very BORED?' and practically,most of the 2d'o6 peeps find so.SAD for him.

music was BORING.and soon,me and sinyee began to take photos!!
ME!the smile is like so FAKE.and my HAIR!!like MUCHROOM!!
i don't deny the fact she's acting cute.ahahas.and for that particular moment,i thought she's gonna KISS me.
hiding some things?i dono...


then,had art.took a picture which is like...nevermind.just see it.


try guessing who's that.hehes.

recess,normal.nothing much.and its like english test.ms see never come,but her soul is like still there.anyway,went in like about 20 mins later.haiya,the answers all short ones.somemore is those anyhow scribble on,just pray that i don't fail this test terribly.and the teacher is like NOISY.i even raised my hand wanted to ask her shuddup.then when she came up to me,i was like shocked,then gave an excuse that i don't know if i can complete the test.

CME.bored.guess mr tan quite fed-up with out class.but i still love him as mhy physics teacher!!!and here's a funny conversation between me and xin hui,while packing our bags for assembly.

xinhui:eh,michal.i think you got depression or what,need to see a psycologist.
me:huh?(smiling to her.)
xinhui:i'm not kidding lahs,i'm serious lo.
me:orh(still smiling)
xinhui:really!i think nowadays you weird weird de.
me:werid as in?
xinhui:dono lahs,is just weird lo.you better go and see a psycologist.
me:(still smiling)
xinhui:i'm not joking lahs,though i always do that.but i still have the serious part of me.
me:(still smiling)

look like an idiot in this conversation.but i just kept askin people this question: do i look like i got depression.anyway,i'm wondering why xinhui said that.werid.ending my post here.wanna study le.byes!!

for goodness sake i've been complaining from morning till now.GOSH!!how did i manage to do it?hmms...i dono.

Anyway,



log sucks!!and i got a new auntie le!!yeahs!!!and i dun even know what stupid FUCKING laws of log i'm writing!!!SEE THAT?!



a bag,the shoes,the shoebag.WOW!!!

Added an autoplay song.
Title:Bob and bonnie
Artist:Houston Calls
Enjoy =]

Bonnie and Bobby made their way to the bar
They didn’t know of each other but they weren’t very far
From both having some drinks and eyes meeting over the jukebox
She said, “Hey boy can you play me a song?”
And so he put in a quarter and he went right along
She said, “How could you know Blackbird was just what I wanted?”

As the song spun, so did the room
As they hold hands all of the lights start to flicker
Playing it safe, He kissed her cheek

Does he still look at you the same way now?
Feel the same as 38 years ago and how?

So,so,so now that these numbered honeymoon days are through
She says to him “I’m so glad that all our feelings are still true
"I can’t believe that you’re still acting the same like we first met”
He says, “Don’t you know that true love never dies?”
And then he put in “The Princess Bride” at parts where she cries
She says, “I’m glad that you know this is the way that I want it”

As the reel spins, So does the room
As their eyes meet all of the streetlights they flicker
Glancing outside, the moon shines bright for them

Does he still look at you the same way now?
Feel the same as 38 years ago and how?
Does he still look at you the same way now?
Feel the same as 38 years ago and how?


As the clock spins, so does the room
The days pass the same the promise is kept for a lifetime
As the clock spins, so does the room
The days pass the same the promise is kept for a lifetime
(So you can promise me that the feeling’s right 3x)
So you can, yes you can, yes you can


Does he still look at you the same way now?
Feel the same as 38 years ago and how?
Does he still look at you the same way now?
Feel the same as 38 years ago and how?
(He wouldn't leave you, he wouldn't leave you, he wouldn't leave you all alone 2x)

aiya!!blogger beta sucks tons.why do blogger still wanna forces the user to change it for goodness sake.its like so irritating lahs.wanted to add another nice song to my template.



okayys.the hols are ending.tomoorow's back to school.Aarghs!!i don't want it to end so fast,i still want to spend enough time with my bed rather than the sofa.boohoos.anyway,didn't manage to have a dinner with my mum.sad ehs.but sad so,i don't feel like going out when my dad asked me to.i'm sticking my mum!!and i'm missed having this year's yusheng.i wanna eat it!!

i've completed my E maths hw,ss half of it and the undone A maths.i don't know how to do log!!haiz.tomorrow go school then see.

determination set to loose fats.i wanna be skinny!!exercising!!jiayous!!clothes!!!woohooos!developed muscles!!!wahhahhas.okayys,i'm dreaming too much.

anyway people,HAPPY NEW YEAR.

man,i don't know what to say about the copying thing.but one thing i can say is that one stupid lass from the class claimed that they're more united.i really feel like smacking her when she said that.you don't have the right to say that.you don't know what we experienced together,how the bonding came.

being just an outsider of 2d'o6,you have your views.but definately,not what our views are.mind me asking you,would you sacrifice your sleep just to make a teacher's day present for your form tcher together with your classmates??having dark circles together the next day?i bet you don't.

our motto don't come easy.by just using your CUTE mouth to claim those things,please do some REFLECTION

GOOD day for me to fall sick.practically,i felt like an auntie in the morning when i was taking an mrt in the morning.cause my back hurts after the weekly checking.gosh,i just hate it lahs.

reached the workplace with a grace period of half an hour before punching in,was like so tired for goodness sake.Even chakara and the other guy fell asleep too.took my angbao from AUNTIE JANE.

punched in and worked.did lobby first,felt like it was hell for me.was ebing tempted by the chairs and sofas in the lobbies.how i wish to take a sit.luckily,i was being so call 'save' by jasper.he called me in to be runner of dono who.lucki.

really lost my apetitide for my break,had quite a long break.punched in and was chakara's runner.at least he's good to me.got help me.yea.den waited till chakara's break ended then i punched out!!whees!

but somehow my body was like in PAIN.especially my back.so,i decided to rest st mac.unknowningly,i slept there for like 1 hour plus.not bad lahs.thought i would sleep for like 2-3 hours.when i woke up,stone there for a while,didn't know why.

thanks to whoever asked me if i'm ok.thanks lots.and to make me feel beta,i bought a mcflurry to eat,xtra oreo!

and now,i'm having high fever.good timing to fall sick.byes.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Moderate
Dysthymia:	Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Moderate
Cyclothymia:	High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

took the depression test from depressedtest.com was like gosh.don't know what to say.

anyway,today had chinese new year celebrations.find it broing lahs.cant blame me.then went back to primary school,really didn't regret the choice going there.the boys really grew more handsome,while the girls,still the same.i'm not being biased but guys do become handsome during the 'shooting up' period.really glad to have such a reunion with them.

and i scolded fuck you during a call with the 'famous' NICHOLAS FOO lahs.damn pissed lo,tat fucking bastard.after that me and hq went to changyu's house.fun one!played uno.catchup with the past etc.

recalled what i dreamt last night,gosh.somehow its like weird but its kind of sweet.what's that kind of feeling?hmms.dono lahs.4get it.byes

try listening it.i love it.especially when you sing it out damn loudly when you're feeling miserable.that's how i got over it. =]

Valentines reaching,haiz.short of cash!!how i wish chinese new year would be here fast before valentines,like that got money le.Anyway,i'm exchanging with these people,

jenin
jaslin
shu hui
yuiki
duncan
qi guang
adeva
joping
norvin(maybe.)

if i left you guys out.remember to tag in my tagboard to remind me.as u guys know,i can be forgetful de la.

and to shu(long time nvr mention her name in my blog le.hehes.),don't be so depressed la.though i dono who you are referring to,but i think i understad your pain.jiayous.don't be add too much until fat fat.

and to jitao.


act cool 4 what lahs.anyway congrats for getting a destinction for your chinese.

and to ah lim,


thanks!!

and to end off this post,a 2d vid which doesn't make any sense la.so just enjoy watching it.

the shorts!!kinda like it.

i don't think its nice,but still,mum bought it.

i like this!!!!wahhahahs.i'm mad la.pls ignore me.duhz.

then went to northpoint.reached there about 10 plus,not all shops are opened,so decided to go and had our BREAKFAST.wanted to eat mac at first,but our dear fatty wanted delifrance,so we went in.but after 3 mins we went out of the restraunt and went to kfc.settled there.saw someone from my childhood but don't bother to say 'hi'.instead she went to say hi to my mum.wow?

went to some random store(i forget le.)!had my greatest time shopping there?hahas.sound so auntie XD.aniway,i found these 3 shorts nice!

nice work if you can get it.

this is my bro's t.but it makes sense.life is not a job.hhahas.
i love this damn much!!give me seriou motivation for my art!

and the belt and socks!

the longest pair og socks is my bro's and mine is the other 2!!

the BELT.

that's all.and i'm here blogging.hees.

ok.i'm not hiding any truths.i think i'm having severe mood swings or depression.i went to check out on the webs.
'
SIGNS OF DEPRESSION:
` changes in eating and sleeping habits (eating and sleeping too much or too little) (check!)
` significant weight gain or loss (check!)
` missed school, poor school performance and/or a sudden decline in grades (kinda.)
` withdrawal from friends and family (check!)
` no longer enjoying activities that were once pleasurable (check!)
` indecision, lack of concentration, or forgetfulness (kinda.)
` feelings of worthlessness or guilt (check!)
` overreaction to criticism, irritability (check!)
` feeling that nothing is worth the effort (kinda.)
` frequent health complaints when no physical ailment exists (nopes.)
` anger, rage, anxiety (check!)
` lack of enthusiasm and motivation (do have.)
` drug/alcohol abuse, thoughts of death or suicide (i don't take drugs but i do have toughts of suicide.)

oh gosh!!!!i'm having 12/13 symptoms check.can someone sponsor me to go to IMH?i think i really need it.let's see how many signs and symptoms i have for mood swings.

SYMPTOMS FOR MOOD SWINGS.

~ Menopause (i'm still young for that.touch wood.)
~ Lack of sleep (yeah.i really need sleep lahs.)
~ Sleep apnea--- Temporary stopping breathing for a brief time while sleeping, often repeating. (touchwood.i don't tink i have that.)
~ Depression (test above)
~ Stress (yeah.i do have lots.)
~ Anxiety (no)
~ Pregnancy (omfg!i'm still a VIRGIN.get that?)
~ Bipolar disorder ----a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives. (i dono O.O )
~ Alcohol ---- A pattern of mental and physical birth defects caused by excessive alcohol use during pregnancy. The range and severity of the symptoms may vary greatly. (touch wood!!my mum don't drink much de)
~ Medication side effects (i'm not sick,so why should i have any medication?)
~ Hypoglycaemia ---Hypoglycemia is a low level of sugar in the blood. ( i tink i'm having high sugar level instead of the low one.)
~ Premenstrual syndrome (my menstruation is not up yet.shud be coming on the 13th ot 14th.)


During recess or in classes ttoday,many asked if i'm ok.like yuiki(i LOVE her!!),kit tat.Even ms ismal asked if i'm okay,then saying this :you look miserable.and i cried like 2 times in school.it isn't just the teacher,its just that i feel like crying and the tears just gush out like no one's business.want to stop aso cannot.next time really must standby tissue le.

dreading school nowadays.and by the way,i patched with my mum.Somehow ideas of pon-ing school seems to like appeaar in my mind.Like pon-ing tuition.first,i attend it on a regular basis.then, (see my friends those kind of shit excuses came) i attend it irregularly.Then the final stage,QUIT.yeahs.

Didn't attend school tuesday.then,i pon higher chinese on wednesday.man,i feel like giving up all those stuffs i had now and fall into a great sleep instead.i don't want to care about family stuffs,school stuffs,cca stuffs....just any stuffs that i have to care,i don't want to.sleeping makes wonders,for me.somehow i regard it as a place where i escape from reality.Everything could be fake,which is important.my mind being blank,not dreaming anything.but once i wake up,the so call reality in my dreams broke,and i have to face the cruel reality.problems just came like a flowing river,tons to solve.

I need a break seriously!i want to have a 10 hours sleep DESPERATELY.and wake up naturally.not like slamming of doors,shouting,or wadeva shit that woke me up.cause for sure,i know i would scolding them a straight 'fuck you!' or 'shuddup lahs' to whoever that made the sound.i want MC!!!!i want to rest like no one else business!!but i doubt i get to do this.

anyway,i'm sick of maths classes.itsd always screamings and screamings.its just so sickening.and somehow i feel that i'm forever stuck at that particular place.simply pisses me off.and by the way,i think due to the chinese new year decorations things,i'm having GOOD grades for my A maths tests.so far i had a test and a retest.and guess what?i got 8 for both tests.the first is out of 20 and the 2nd,25.isn't it like so disgraceful?damn it.

science classes are like the last 2 years,i'm stuck with mrs choo!freak!!i don't want it.screamings non-stop and always being unreasonable.what we do is like wasted lahs.and what's more,she's making me hate chemistry!seriously,i'm scared that i might fail it.this time,really have to depends on physics le.die die must score well for physics!!!

and my MOOD SWINGS are back!!wahoos!!i'm insane.don't care about me.i think i'm being weird nowadays,kinda quiet,don't feel like talking to anyone and i enjoy being alone.somehow,i would just walk to somewhere i quiet,sit there and enjoy the peace(stare blankly),think of stuffs .

my so call week!its dun rocks.

seriously,if you think you're a great mother who did enough things to land the family in this state,i'm sorry you're NOT!firstly,you're the one who wanted a divorce,so be it.though i almost cried,but i silently accepted this fact.

secondly,you can choose whether to leave the house .in the end you left quietly.till i figured out one day that you're not coming back everyday and during that period,my imaginations ran wild and i thought you had a new bf.

thirdly,since both of you gladly accept this seperation,both have to fork out money evenly.i know dad is always being lazy not working,but he pays most of the bills in this house.yet you're worse,who only cares about the money matters.

and During your birthday last year,do you know that dad prepared a bouquet of roses for you,hoping you would see it.but in the end,you only knew it when you came back to help me pack my luggage for taiwan trip.what's more hurting is that you're being damn inappreciative,saying stuffs like wasting money.Can't you see that dad still cares bout you?And do you know something,when the flower was being placed like so many days in the room,i would always open the door everyday pretending to take some stuff from the room,yet to disappointment,the flower was being left untouched.and every single time i read the card which had dad's n bro's wishes,somehow my tears would just flow like rivers.continously...

when i came back for taiwan trip,i really feel being an unwanted child.many of my friend's parents came down to the airport and fetched them back,or had send regards to them through phone calls or sms.yet,i received none.i even had to tell you like as if i'm reporting to my boss that i came back.and even worse,when i was feeling unwell on that day,no one in this family came and ask me if i'm ok.

i went to work.you and bro thought that it's ok for me to work.yet dad was being quite a typical parent worrying about stuffs.but in the end,i still convinced him i'm old enough,i could take care of myself.so he did,trusted me.and i earned my very first bucks at OJE.you're the first person i told,but the response you gave me was rather disappointing.seriously,i thought it would be like some compliments,but no.when i wanted to work during schooldays,you asked me to quit.or to be exact,you TRIED FORCING me to quit.and you know what,its hurting for me.You know that?

and whenever i scored good grades in my test,you're the one i wanted to tell first.yet,i did not.i couldn't bring myself to tell you or i would forget about them cause i would always end up with a quarell with you.especially in those quarrells,you would always say how stupid i am,how idiotic i am,how useless i am which really hurts me damn much.for once,i wanted you to be proud of me,but always i felt that i'm RUBBISH in your eyes.

today,i finally made the effort to clear the dining room to be as nice as possible as well as my room for your weekly return which only lasts for a few hours,hoping you would praise me or what.but no,you didn't even bother to look my room,and worse of all,you didn't even give any compliments for the dining room.

i know i've been one lazy girl who always scolds vulgarities,a tomboy,useless,stupid girl in your eyes.but do you know,by scolding me verbally,it hurts more.if you knew how much pain i suffered,how hurt i feel when you scold me with those words,would you still do that?i guess you would still do that or else the tears taht are flowing down now wouldn't flow.right?

and i wouldn't be so cold towards everyone nowadays.which is so not me.all this freaking family stuffs are really torturing me.if dying could really solve all problems,i would go for it.SERIOUSLY.