seriously,if you think you're a great mother who did enough things to land the family in this state,i'm sorry you're NOT!firstly,you're the one who wanted a divorce,so be it.though i almost cried,but i silently accepted this fact.

secondly,you can choose whether to leave the house .in the end you left quietly.till i figured out one day that you're not coming back everyday and during that period,my imaginations ran wild and i thought you had a new bf.

thirdly,since both of you gladly accept this seperation,both have to fork out money evenly.i know dad is always being lazy not working,but he pays most of the bills in this house.yet you're worse,who only cares about the money matters.

and During your birthday last year,do you know that dad prepared a bouquet of roses for you,hoping you would see it.but in the end,you only knew it when you came back to help me pack my luggage for taiwan trip.what's more hurting is that you're being damn inappreciative,saying stuffs like wasting money.Can't you see that dad still cares bout you?And do you know something,when the flower was being placed like so many days in the room,i would always open the door everyday pretending to take some stuff from the room,yet to disappointment,the flower was being left untouched.and every single time i read the card which had dad's n bro's wishes,somehow my tears would just flow like rivers.continously...

when i came back for taiwan trip,i really feel being an unwanted child.many of my friend's parents came down to the airport and fetched them back,or had send regards to them through phone calls or sms.yet,i received none.i even had to tell you like as if i'm reporting to my boss that i came back.and even worse,when i was feeling unwell on that day,no one in this family came and ask me if i'm ok.

i went to work.you and bro thought that it's ok for me to work.yet dad was being quite a typical parent worrying about stuffs.but in the end,i still convinced him i'm old enough,i could take care of myself.so he did,trusted me.and i earned my very first bucks at OJE.you're the first person i told,but the response you gave me was rather disappointing.seriously,i thought it would be like some compliments,but no.when i wanted to work during schooldays,you asked me to quit.or to be exact,you TRIED FORCING me to quit.and you know what,its hurting for me.You know that?

and whenever i scored good grades in my test,you're the one i wanted to tell first.yet,i did not.i couldn't bring myself to tell you or i would forget about them cause i would always end up with a quarell with you.especially in those quarrells,you would always say how stupid i am,how idiotic i am,how useless i am which really hurts me damn much.for once,i wanted you to be proud of me,but always i felt that i'm RUBBISH in your eyes.

today,i finally made the effort to clear the dining room to be as nice as possible as well as my room for your weekly return which only lasts for a few hours,hoping you would praise me or what.but no,you didn't even bother to look my room,and worse of all,you didn't even give any compliments for the dining room.

i know i've been one lazy girl who always scolds vulgarities,a tomboy,useless,stupid girl in your eyes.but do you know,by scolding me verbally,it hurts more.if you knew how much pain i suffered,how hurt i feel when you scold me with those words,would you still do that?i guess you would still do that or else the tears taht are flowing down now wouldn't flow.right?

and i wouldn't be so cold towards everyone nowadays.which is so not me.all this freaking family stuffs are really torturing me.if dying could really solve all problems,i would go for it.SERIOUSLY.