It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love
tonight
Sunday, August 31, 2008, 4:08 PM

When you said i've changed,someone is leading me astray,and that i don't respect that particular person.Do you ever think that do you understand me well enough?Do you think that you deserve my respect?

Firstly,talking about respect.Respect comes in 2 ways.You give others the amount of respect they deserve,they return you the same amount of respect or even better.So,if you treat others like dogs,of course others will treat you back like dogs or even worse.You don't deserve the amount of respect i had for others.So,what for talking behind my back saying that i'm disrespectful,saying that someone who is very close to me lead me astray?Have you ever thought that the bunch of you really deserve this kind of respect from me?Seriously,i'm totally disappointed by some of the guys inside.You blindly believe that the manager who had been your buddy all along,believing every single word he has for me??I didn't know your ears were meant for his words,i didn't even know that your eyes were even meant for his uses.Worst of all,i didn't know that your mind,was even meant for his own personal use.Oh well,thank you.Thank you for closing your eyes to see the facts,thank you once again to take in all those craps your buddy said.Well,really FHANK YOU!

You aren't able to taste the grapes,and there you go saying grapes are sour!You can't do anything physical to me,and there you go talking about things behind me.Hahas,i'm just SO glad that you at least know some desire consequence you'll get in.Seriously,i'm just so disappointed in them.com'on,have a life!

I don't need to respect a manager who likes to abuse his athorities.That makes me so irritated.

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Hello hanizar!hehs.

I guess he's looking through my blog now.

Today was an alright-unlcuky-irritating day.Hoho,good new i've been getting quite well along with julia.Yea.So,i've finally reclaimed the lost part where it's been influenced!Good job ehs?Anyway,i woke up early in the morning,and met up with jing yi,raymond and xuemin,and trained down to CP.Jing yi had her OJE and passed!Congrats!

Oh,so me and xuemin waited for around 12 and we punched in.Well,actually i've realised,working with julia wasn't that bad.It's just that she likes to stick to 1 station at times and a little dirty at times.Having a team tends to make up one's weakness,isn't it?That's what we are.Heard that mimie had been down with some illness.According to hanizar,he's more prone to illnesses.I hope he'll recover well and soon!

Oh,and i really dislike people who aren't understanding enough.In your shoes,it may seem easy but when you experience it,it's a total different story.I don't like people to be so unappreciative when you offered help to them,they gladly accept it,BUT not even a thanks to you.And that person would give you that stupid look.Dang!Like what i always said:If you so pro,then come and do it lah.okayokay.

And today,i fell down again in store,count the money wrongly.Shitty!More embarrassing events lah.Being one forgetful person,i've forgotten to bring back my apron and i just glady left it on the crew room's table ,which had my handphone in it.So,i sent gopal to kranji and train down to kathib and took NR1.Okay,for the first time,i felt so proud of myself,I'm just so brave to bus down in the middle of the night and landed up harmless to CP.Though initially,i wanted to trouble hanizar,however,it's not really nice to always trouble people.So,i decided to go down personally to claim my things.

For once,i'm so damn proud of myself!hehes.

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Friday, August 29, 2008, 9:55 PM

Recently,i've been into Maroon 5's She will be loved.Sudden obsession for this song,really soothing and meaningful.I didn't go school for teacher's day.Few years back,it's a meaningful day in my life where i reciprocate the love towards teachers.Now,it is just a normal day.

For in my life,i've never slept so long.I sleep at 1.30 in the morning and woke up 4 in the afternoon.so it's like 15 hours.A good rest indeed.

I slacked for one whole day.Caught up with someone.Yeah,that's my simple day.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008, 11:54 PM



Prelims ended.Yes,I went to work to distract me from the problems i'm facing now.After being so vexed enough by family problems,i need a break.Kit kat!okay okay.

Well,some were surprised that i came to work but before that,let's talk about the MCQ.Well,i don't know physics and damn chemistry i chose the wrong answer!DANG IT!Then,i went down to store with Naz and Xue min.Studied a little,and off i go to work.While Xuemin and Naz studied a little while,and left.

People were a little surprised that i came for work,alright really surprise.Especially Gobinut,GopalBITCH!Well,mr Hanizar wasn't shocked at all.OKay,everything was going well until,i totally switched off my mind and common sense after gopalBITCH punched out.I don't know what i'm doing.People,i counted the money wrongly and said that DK counter short of $20,and hanizar was a little bit sorry towards me because of...However,in conclusion i've counted the counter wrongly.

If someone ever ask you,you prefer giving or taking?Choose one,what is your decision?
HE told me that if someone chose to give,then he's a kind and understanding soul.HE's a good man.So,are you the one?

I know what they are doing.Don't treat as if i'm one innocent kid who doesn't know anything,that makes me feel so dumb.

I need to SLEEP.Couldn't fall asleep!!Perhaps someone's smile would brighten my day!

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 9:30 PM


I didn't attend the exam yesterday.I wasn't emotionally stable.If you ever knew what's the heart ripping kinda pain,you'll get what i mean.Losing something that holds a significance in your heart,which you thought you own it,in fact you don't.Only the feelings counts,but which that matters is the reality that stood there.

Like to him,i thought i'm important.But,it's just nothing.Goodbye to people,who deserted me in life,made me felt abandoned.Now,i'm the one abondoning the past.I don't need a family who sheds crocodile tears,i don't need them to try to understand me anymore.May the death leads to another newborn.

and that reminds me,you don't deserve my presents for christmas.May lord bless with you with the innocence of yours to be enlighted.

LAst of all,a sincere thank you to xuemin and nazurah.Xuemin had been accompanying me these few days.NAzurah,thanks for sending msgs to comfort me.Thanks,girls!

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 11:02 PM

ok,here to update about yesterday's Jb trip.

ok,firstly issues before the Jb trip.I bear lots of grudges nowadays.Someone intitally wanted to attend his lessons during morning,and ask for leave during the afternoon,thanks yah.HOWEVER,he changed his mind,and met up with gopal's dearest sister instead,in the morning at 8.30am.WOW!Early enough to go dating.I didn't know that he's such an ass that he didn't even bother to inform us.I'm super glad that at least we've bothered to asked if he's waiting for us.We did our part,and blaming do not end this matter.So,conclusion:He's not at fault to meet us,but he nearly made us look like idiot.too bad sweet little morpeng isn't gonna be any hindrance to us going there.We had someone to be that saver!TADA~~

CLARA TAN!

So,after our physics paper which I'm like tikam tikam doing it,we went to meet clara at kranji MRT station and proceeded to the customs!So,when we're at the m'sia custom,there's this stupid auntie who cut the queue in front of us,and even dragged along her friend.I'm so impressed how their acting skills were so great.Irritating!Such ugly acts made me cringe.Where has the education about manners they've received gone?That's why i detest aunties,and definately,i'm not gonna be one in the future.

OKay,Gopal fetched me to ,and we took a bike trip from custom to city square.Thrilling,but the smoke coming from cars,kinda made my eyes irritated.That's when helmets come in handy!hahas.Walked a little before meeting other because i went to search for some things.Yeah,tell you frankly,never ever go and drink M'sia MCD ice tea,you'll know how tasty is it.hahas!

So,again we went to a place name XTRA.Took on Gopal's bike again,and i was totally shocked off when jega pulled my bad when i was on the road.I thought someone wanna rob me,you know it's like hearing people at my workplace who was being robbed.Yea,i scared i was being robbed.Heavy responsibilities in my bag ehs.

So,we reached the place and sang karaoke.Well,i didn't take pictures with anyone,i guess.But i took pictures.ahahas.At first,the whole atmosphere was like not so high,and i was rather bored.IT's like i don't know what they're singing,so sing what?hahas

Left the room a little while and watched them play pool and ping pong!Hanizar won against Morni!hehes!and yea,a little sorry towards hanizar.Inititally he wanted to apologize me for not replying his msgs,but when he took off his cap,i laughed at him and walked away.A very very big sorry to him!

I was pestering gopal to accompany me to go shopping and he doesn't wants to intially.However,after that he's ok but i'm not.The atmosphere was rather high,and i was like :one more song.Then,one more song until no song.hahas.So,we ended up not going shopping but enjoy ourselves in playing.




And i tell you,mimie was like so damn sexy when s/he's dancing lah!So seductive!Hanizar too was way too engrossed in singing.HE really had an awesome voice.HEre's a vid to show you guys!

That's all.Left with Clara,decided not to go and watch movie with them.Well,a little pity though but i still have exams going on.Yea,so left with Julia,Clara and Xuemin,and vroomz to city square.Settled dinner there and shopped a little while and went home.Tired out.Thanks Clara for the treat!





























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For today,nothing much.Went down to CP,and stopped there a little while to accompany joanne to have her dinner.Went to meet up with XYZ and home we go!

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Monday, August 25, 2008, 10:20 PM

you claim that i've changed but have you ever tried understanding me?Do you know you made me felt so hopeless,maybe it's better to be jumping off the building,without a goodbye.At least that will leave you a regret.A regret that you never tried understanding me.

You claim that you trust me,yes.I didn't answer your calls,or reply your sms,because i've set silent mode.you simply just assumed i went for work.and you even forced me to admit i'm in wrong when i didn't did.I did not went to work,you forced me to admit i went to work.you even went to call up store to check.

I respect you,that's why i told you when i was going to work,yet you made me felt like some ass,you don't even trust me.and you said working in mcd lead me to what am i into this state.HAve you ever thought,those relentless amount of moeny you gave was just only to satisfied that empty heart out there.You and your son made me felt like an idiot,always.

YEs,i declare here i like him,i really like him.I know the advice you gave meant well for me.However,you started getting racist and came to check up on me like i'm your prisoner.Asking me who i go out with,and you always assumed that i went out with those indian friends of mine.Do you ever make an effort to communicate with me nicely?Without using all those racist terms?

How far do you want to go?to drive me up to my insanity?to drive me to the hell,that's what you want right?I just didn't want to put away book that were under the living room table,and what you did?you threw away all those books that i used my own money to buy.You just simply just threw away my books.Even some that were new and untouched.

I screamed in agony in my room,you came and scolded me asking what i want,Have you ever thought,my heart was torn into pieces when you threw things i treasured.I just needed you to be supportive,even you don't agree with my decisions,i don't need you to mock at my stupidity.

Do you know what's my favourite colour now?No.That's orange.Do you know i completely lost my dignity when you read my diary aloud to ang wei shan?Do you know how humiliated i felt when you and your dearest perfect son ganged up to laugh at my mistake.It's not once,it happened a lot of times.

How low do you want me to stoop?How much times do you want to step on my dignity,making me feel like one sore loser and that i shouldn't exist in the world.Do you know that i really look upon you and respect you a lot,but your actions and words,hurts me really a lot.

You may not understand why i chose this,and i explained.But did you ever really listen to my explanation,no?Just condem me as you would like.I'm condeming myself,i'm gonna earn income for myself.

Saturday, August 23, 2008, 7:04 PM

The midst of me,i managed to controll,to be this and that.This is what you made me for,not what i am.You,made me breathed.Your presence overfilled those of that virtues,you made my head spin.Emotions,is what made me felt so alive and dead.God,if i were to say,please release me of what i'm in.Release the state of pain,those tears flowing down again and again.I guess you would only laugh and enjoy looking at those pathetic moments i had.thanks for calling upon me in this world,to make me taste the pain in that of those sweetest moments.Especially,enjoying the sweetest moments when i'm in pain.

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Friday, August 22, 2008, 8:38 PM


I don't need someone to be a hypocrite in front of me.Thanks for treating me as if i'm invisble.Oh well,don't jolly well come and look for me when you're having troubles.You know i don't feel good towards you,you make me feel that you're hopeless.You think whatever is right for you,but have you ever thought,others had dropped a serious hint towards certain issues.And there you are,acting like some dumb idiot,in other words being so naive and listen to them as if they're your masters.THANKS for listening to me at least once,like real.Thanks for giving me such wonderful things,as if you've contributed.I really really appreciate how you've cast me out,as if i would.Damn you bitch,goobye and stay out of my life.Stay out of my sight,i'm not someone you can just welcome and get rid of me out of your world.IT's me who's doing this now.We're quits!GOODBYE,moron.


You know who i'm referring to,so why bother to ask me?Guilt gets hold of one easily.


POOF!

I'm gone.

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Thursday, August 21, 2008, 2:41 PM

What for holding on to something you abhor.Using ways and means, treating it like some rubbish,just for the taste of sweet revenge?Does it make you equally satisfied?I doubt so.You're one who hungered for more,the sweetest of all,the death of the lovliest,is that what you want?In the end,you're one monster-achieved to be.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 1:19 AM

I've decided not to go to malaysia for the outing with enough sufficient reasons to convince myself.

I don't know but i may be alone,while they do their things,going to ktv?Don't suit me.Especially when they're singing malay songs,so what do i do?Stay there and drink till my bladder burst?(i do have a weak bladder,anyway.)Mainly,my mom don't allow.Be some nice and good daughter here alright?

Prelims 2 nowadays.and i tell you,i'm unable to fall asleep in the late night.and that's why i'm here blogging.My Fears later on.Wish me luck,entitle me for one golden luck of yours:"JIAYOU!"

Monday, August 18, 2008, 7:41 PM


I'm currently in the state of confusion,i don't know what my aims are for life.Maybe all i want,is to lead a simple life being a nobody.However,that's not my character.Definately at times i love to be one attention seeker,to let people realise my presence.That's so me,alright.

I wonder,if i ever get the chance to love.To actually really taste the feeling of being loved by someone whom you love dearly.It may be common among friends, but not to me.Now,i know that if i were to love someone,he perhaps would be my dearest ever.

I don't knnow why i'm forgetting things like hell been.Memory ain't working.

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Sunday, August 17, 2008, 2:46 PM

talking about yesterday,i went to CP to study and went home with jasper and xuemin.I did a little of Amaths.Then something bigbigbig happen.Actually,it's not really that big,but it's still big.Contradicting myself.ahahs.Well,i've got nothing to say,but this is when we get to see people true self.Speechless.

Anyway,centrepoint will be having a newyork newyork!hahas,i've never tasted food from there,so chances of me going there to have a first time will be great!

I never thought that someone could be so bold.the things she wrote made me felt that she had changed for the 'better'.Well,not that i would say that it hurts to change but definately disturbing enough to see someone who you have to interact with at times and it's necessary to do it,makes me feel so ughhhh.What for being a hypocrite,always using a great skill,the art of acting?Totally disgust me at the thought of it, makes me shivers.Even when you're talking to me,you made me felt so comfortable,as if i'm invisible.Alright,thanks man!Yea,THANKS!

I don't know.Please stop treating me good as and when you like it.

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I'm talking to someone sarcastic now.GOSH!

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Thursday, August 14, 2008, 9:26 PM

I said something bad to my mom,and she told my brother that she was sad,and suffering from heartaches,going to die soon,etc.It makes me guilty and sad if she were to die.I owe her too many things and i made her angry regardless of what,i'm inappreciative of what she had done so far.I am a really an unfillial daughter.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 12:07 AM

should i go JB for CL and beanie outing on 25th?
But i didn't want to go because.....,
and i want to go because.....

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 9:45 PM

I didn't go school and i lied about my mom regarding it and she lost trust in me.oh well.Goodbye.

Monday, August 11, 2008, 10:32 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS,JOANNE!hope you liked the SUNflowers we gave!hehs.

So,it's her birthday and we went to meet her up and dined at manhattan.The mussles were yummy yummy however,the food there doesn't suit my taste.I prefer fish and co.,but well at least it tastes nice though too oily.Went to play a little while in aracde.BASKETBALL,hahas,taiwan trip!

then,went down to clarke to study and bit.To vivo to grab some candy chewies and snacks.that's all!






You sound hesistant,and no matter what your answer is,it makes no difference.After 14th August,even if you're not married,in my heart you're considered untouchable.Please don't shake this determination.

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Sunday, August 10, 2008, 10:43 PM



Just caught up some Olympics news from channel 5,and i tell you Tao Li represented Singapore had made it into the finals for the first ever time!YAYS!okay,here comes the best alright,MICHAEL PHELPS set a NEW world record for the swimming component,and he's so suave when he's swimming!It's only when he's swimming.hahas

Well,enough for swimming.for basketball,china got smashed down by USA,70-101.I just love to see USA wins compared to china.Especially after much corruptions in their govt,and the incidents of embezzelled funds for the SiChuan Earthquake,are used to buy nike shoes for company workers.Well,i know it's sportsmenship that is required here but i think they deserve that 70,it's karma!

and for last night gymastic male category,it's really WOWOWOWOWOW!I didn't know that gymnastic requires so much skill,only after i watched it.Gosh,they're all so muscle-kinda-man.hahas.

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I think I've gone haywire nowadays.I couldn't remember things like simple stuffs:"what did i eat for lunch?".What makes me more anxious is this: i felt that one day is short,but when it was the next day,i tend to remember things that actually happened the previous day and i thought it was issues few days back.

okay,i'm easily tired out.Ending with this LONG post.hahas.Nights people!

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My courage and the strength of my heart has only left half of it's energy!I almost scare the hell out of myself because i almost slip and fall at DK,imagine how i'm gonna be like if i were to fall?that would be so unglam.I finally passed that thing to him!I'm just so bloody brave and there goes my half of my courage.

RANDOM!
I'm like so damn hungry now lahhhhh.

Saturday, August 09, 2008, 12:29 AM

I'm sorry.
Not in the mood to talk about things.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008, 10:22 PM

dear mr her-craps,

look who's jumping!hehes.


i'm here to talk about my life on tuesday and today,However i forgotten what happened on tuesday.So,allow me to tell you about today.Don't be infuriated that i only remembered science practical and some fella who came and slammed his bottle on my table before practical paper.Then,after that he just came back and said:"you just know diao me right?".For common sense,i didn't offend him and there he goes like some jerk,behaving like some maniac?I wonder does he still remember those pathetic moment when he was injured.However,his at-then-girlfriend doesn't bother him.Imagine how pathetic can you be when your girlfriend cares about herself more than you.SERVE YOU RIGHT.Don't bother to come and look for me if you saw this post.It's you who offended me first.

OKay,i met up with xuemin and joanne.studied and home.I'm feeling feverish.

you talked to me,i guess you know what's going on.Sorry,but i have to lessen that pain.Thanks for giving those moments.

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Monday, August 04, 2008, 11:53 PM

I've decided to disclose what i wrote to this particular guy who is getting married.Here goes.


Hey XXXX,

I'm happy for you that you're getting married,like you have planned earlier on in your life.I will pray for your marriage to last long and blissful.Like an old saying goes,it is easy for a couple to get married,but to maintain it,is not an easy task.Do give in to your wife at times :)

Ah,heard that you're saving up to buy a new house,save up more okay?Do save up for your future too!Now,you've got a companion with you,so consider things carefully before doing it.That includes having babies!I hopr to expect good news from you next year,like having a baby boy or a cute little girl! :)

you've been on excitement in my life.It's time for me to think and plan for my future,and move on with life.Thanks!you've been a great guy!Always have that smile on you!Cheeros!

P.s.You might consider throwing away all the things i've made,as it might be a hindrance to you :)

Michal



Pathtic am i?This is the edited-better english version.The one i wrote to him contains dozens of broken english,and grammer mistakes.Let him be just the past excitement,and really move on.It's time that is needed here.

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Sunday, August 03, 2008, 10:11 PM


okay,I went to help up at instana for distribution of food under MCD.Definately,it was an eye opening experience for me,how singaporeans are truly ugly.

Firstly,i don't know how parents teach their children(age within 3-6 years old).In order to get some drinks from us,they used their kids as tools to get what they want.Even worst,they don't even appreciate that.There are kids who even came back with a water bottle or refills.The worst was that the kid herself claimed that she didn't take it.Do they have to stoop so low just to get a drink?How cheap can they make themselves go to just to get what they want from society?Just imagine.Is this how younger generations were educated?What a letdown to the education system.

Secondly,singaporeans take it for granted that it is alright for big companies like MCD to help them refill drinks.Do you know,that MCD is giving out free food and drinks in this Istana event?they even demanded for more,Being so 'appreciative' of them.I mean it's like,have they thought that it's their business to bring water bottles out,especially when you're bringing out a kid,and in some grand event that was held in IStana?Not only that,singaporeans and mostly china people,asked us to help them top up more for their drinks.It's like:'HEY!We're a company.Not some charity organisations.At least we gave you a cup of drink rather than the other supplier,not even a drink.'Worst of all,when i helped a teacher to take a tray of drinks to her kids,on the way,some people even asked:Is it for free?Can i take it?

Thirdly,Singaporeans are lazy,including some china people who visited,even asked us to give them free drinks.When we reject them,they would give us that kind of inappreciative face.Come on,this is a grand event!They don't even bother to look for it and came knockcing at our doors,with that thick-skinned question:Can i get 1 cup of drink for you?

WORST OF ALL,when we're about to close and pack up,there's this lady with 3 kids and came stomping to us,and requested for drinks.No coupons with star star = No drinks and food.When we said that,she started to scold us,blaming us foro not supplying drinks,and even passed us a water bottle to refill it,expecting it to fill till the brim.Isn't that barbaric?Shouldn't there be courtesy among people?Where have their manners gone after receiving quality education from the govt and their parents.Total digust should i say!

After much actions about ugly singaporeans,we went back to centrepoint to re-decorate the notcieboard as we're asked to.Definately,this time was much mroe messier than the last time when me and xuemin did the noticeboard.we spent around few hours,and was exhausted.

Something hilarious happen in between the time when we're doing up the noticeboard.What a pity,i didn't took some pictures of the newly decorated noticeboard.
1.Hanizar,take care lah!Recover soon!I need a favour from you!
2.Vella,sorry for hitting your head 3 times in a roll.
3.For once,i didn't smile at him.Even ignore him.LEft without a goodbye.
4.I kept asking people if they're alright,when i know they aren't or they are.Silly am i?
5.I don't like the word outcast being used on me.
6.Sometimes,things i've said and advised,people just don't bother to listen.So,i don't talk much to him/her.Bacause to me,he/she doesn't even bother to consider my opinions,what for talking too much,right?
7.Serve you right!

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Saturday, August 02, 2008, 10:45 PM

It's just so hard to forgive someone for the mistake he mistake.

OH WELL.

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Friday, August 01, 2008, 11:17 PM



ALoha!today,was a rather meaningful day.(at least a little)

After school,i went to meetup with Joanne and Xuemin to study.Then,i went to meet up with my mum and bro to watch Money Not Enough 2.The movie,i'll give it a 4/5,firstly it's entertaining.Secondly,it's touching,and it makes me think when i get old,will i be sent to Old Folks Home?Who wants?I doubt notbody wants it.

Anyway,helping others fell great.Especially when they expressed their gratitudes to you when you just lend them some of your minor help!(reminds me of hanizar.hahas.)

IF you wanna claim that you're single just to shrug me off,then you have succeed it!I don't want to be clinging on to some man who doesn't appreciate the least amount of effort i've put in.Goodbye,and i'm glad that ring when MIA itself.Let the bygones be bygones,may i not remember it and thus recognise you as some stranger i don't know and worth knowing it.

UPDATED!
Come to think of it,i forgot to post about WPR.It was really contradicting,i'm satisfied with it,still.hehs.definately will improve on my performance.

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